WARNING: The following contains vague spoilers for Neon Genesis Evangelion.
It was shortly after I’d had surgery on my knee that I first watched an episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion. My leg was in a brace, and I wasn’t allowed to bend it for about six weeks. I could barely walk, let alone leave my flat. I’d had an accident where I’d gone for a jog in the rain and fallen on some loose, upturned paving stones. I sat on the street for an hour waiting for an ambulance to arrive, and ended up having over sixteen stitches.
It was the end result of a stupid set of decisions I’d made that day. But I hadn’t been in the best frame of mind when I was making them.
For about two years prior, I’d been dealing with what I now recognise as anxiety and depression. I had no idea what it was at the time — I’d been in and out of the doctors with complaints about my physical health, thinking I had an eye condition, that I had chronic fatigue — but I was constantly being hit with uncontrollable moods that ruined my life for a few days at a time. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, and I didn’t know how to fix it. I defaulted to a lot of self-destructive behaviour, which included eating too much, breaking random objects, and, yes, going for a jog in the rain.
